What is your most desirable end result or MDER? That is the most important question you have to ask yourself anytime you're in a situation and don't have a clue as to what you should do.
Now I can't say that I came up with this myself. I'm pretty sure I read it somewhere and it just stuck. It always seems to work for me whether I apply it to my relationships, work situations, money problems, etc. If nothing else, it will at least help you figure out what you don't want to do. Allow me to explain...
When you're in a situation weighing out different options, trying to listen to both your heart and mind, keep your dignity, not lose everything, avoid hurting other people, etc. etc., it can get overwhelming like everything else in life. That's where this little question can clear things up for you. Of course there may be some very complicated, unique situations in which this won't help because there are so many elements or people involved but for the most part, this works.
It's a simple question to ask. What is your most desirable END result? Meaning, what would be the best possible outcome that you would be happiest with? Now after you figure that out, you do kinda have to take action. Here's an example: If you are torn between whether you should move off to college and separate from your current partner or enroll in a local community college and risk that you guys don't work out in the long run...ask yourself this question. When you decide one way or another, it'll be very clear what you need to do. If you decide that what you want to do is go away to that university and have that real college experience then make sure whatever you are doing is leading towards that! It won't always go exactly as planned but I can tell you that it will take you where you are meant to go.
The reason I think this question is so important to ask is because it doesn't involve what other people may expect or want from you, nor does it give you a chance to consider what can go wrong. It doesn't leave room for you to worry about how likely or unlikely what you want is. All you need to know in that moment is what you truly want to see at the end of it. You can apply this to long term or short term situations and the process will be the same. I can't say that you won't be disappointed at times, or wish you could change some things you did or didn't do but at least with this, you will know you're following YOUR heart, wants, and dreams. How bad can that be? Thanks for taking the time to read this...if you've made it this far down lol. Buh-byeee :)
P.S. if you use this method and it helps, please let me know!