What is your most desirable end result or MDER? That is the most important question you have to ask yourself anytime you're in a situation and don't have a clue as to what you should do.
Now I can't say that I came up with this myself. I'm pretty sure I read it somewhere and it just stuck. It always seems to work for me whether I apply it to my relationships, work situations, money problems, etc. If nothing else, it will at least help you figure out what you don't want to do. Allow me to explain...
When you're in a situation weighing out different options, trying to listen to both your heart and mind, keep your dignity, not lose everything, avoid hurting other people, etc. etc., it can get overwhelming like everything else in life. That's where this little question can clear things up for you. Of course there may be some very complicated, unique situations in which this won't help because there are so many elements or people involved but for the most part, this works.
It's a simple question to ask. What is your most desirable END result? Meaning, what would be the best possible outcome that you would be happiest with? Now after you figure that out, you do kinda have to take action. Here's an example: If you are torn between whether you should move off to college and separate from your current partner or enroll in a local community college and risk that you guys don't work out in the long run...ask yourself this question. When you decide one way or another, it'll be very clear what you need to do. If you decide that what you want to do is go away to that university and have that real college experience then make sure whatever you are doing is leading towards that! It won't always go exactly as planned but I can tell you that it will take you where you are meant to go.
The reason I think this question is so important to ask is because it doesn't involve what other people may expect or want from you, nor does it give you a chance to consider what can go wrong. It doesn't leave room for you to worry about how likely or unlikely what you want is. All you need to know in that moment is what you truly want to see at the end of it. You can apply this to long term or short term situations and the process will be the same. I can't say that you won't be disappointed at times, or wish you could change some things you did or didn't do but at least with this, you will know you're following YOUR heart, wants, and dreams. How bad can that be? Thanks for taking the time to read this...if you've made it this far down lol. Buh-byeee :)
P.S. if you use this method and it helps, please let me know!
This concept is kind of why I started writing this blog, and what made me want to kick my new YouTube channel into full gear. It is the basis for all that I am currently doing simultaneously.
I had already started and stopped 2 make-up YouTube channels in the past few years, and the reason I stopped was simply because I didn't have enough passion for it, nor desire to edit because it wasn't important enough for me to dedicate some time to doing it. Sad, but true.
Obviously, anything that we don't find important enough isn't going to take any kind of priority on a consistent basis. So there was that.
Now...I currently work a full time job, which has nothing to do with hair or cosmetology or blogging for that matter, but I'm focusing attention on my DREAMS while I still work to pay my bills so that I can take all the steps needed to achieve my best life. That's when I thought of the song "whistle while you work" from none other than the OG Disney movie, Snow White...classic!
To me, whistle while you work means to enjoy what you are working towards. It also means to focus on your dreams while doing what is necessary to make your dreams happen. If you cannot quit your job or school program or whatever it may be taking your time and attention to solely focus on your dreams, then by all means, keep working your 9 to 5. Don't forget to dedicate yourself to your personal goals when you finish your daily duties/responsibilities. Remember what your most desirable end result is...always! <- This question is one that I ask myself anytime I'm making a major decision, it's never failed me! :) I will talk more about that in my next post.
In the meantime, if you hate your job, hate going to class, hate having to stay home to take care of siblings, hate having to go to the library to use the computer because you don't own one...just find the will to whistle. It pays off when you look back at all that you've done, trust me.
Side note: If you literally whistle while you work, it makes things just a tad bit better. I know you've never seen a sad/angry person whistle...cause I haven't. It's just not natural.
Now get back to work! :)
used in reference to a feeling or reaction based on an instinctive emotional response rather than considered thought.
personal courage and determination; toughness of character.
Why are guts so important? Firstly, if you don't have guts(courage) to step outside your comfort zone and reach for extraordinary circumstances, then chances are...nothing extraordinary will happen to you. Secondly, if you don't listen to your gut(instincts) you will likely stray from whatever situation, person, lifestyle, career, experience is most optimal for YOU. Allow me to further explain...
Sometimes, dreams are scary and overwhelming. Not because they are dumb ideas or wrong to want, but because it may seem too massive or impossible to achieve. You may not know even the first step to take towards reaching your dreams and goals, yet that should NEVER stop you from trying! It takes guts to put your current situation which is probably decent or at the very least comfortable and familiar to you, and shake everything up for bigger or better things that you are not familiar with. Even something like going to the gym to use the free weights instead of running the treadmill might be out of your comfort zone because you've never used them or feel intimidated by all the gym regulars. Imagine what you are holding yourself back from out of fear...AKA the opposite of having guts.
Your instincts are your one and only super power on this earth that God has blessed us all with. It's not the same as common sense though...that topic we can touch on another day. The way I see it, our gut is what links our hearts and minds. When you are doing something that feels inharmonious, whether you are "right" or not, it doesn't matter. This is because YOUR gut instinct is very exclusively yours and no one can tell you whether what your gut tells you is right or not. It is up to you to understand what message it is sending you and act on it.
It's when a little kid is at the grocery store and a stranger comes up to them to try to entice them with a treat and now the kid has a weird, sickly feeling that they need to run to their mom-and fast! It's when you're driving on your way to work and you're not sure why but the job-post you saw in search of a dance teacher has been on your mind since you found it a few days ago. Your instinct is in tune with the life you want whether you know you want it or not. It's painted on the unique path that is most favorable to each one of us even though we might not know where that path leads. That's why listening to our gut is SO important and necessary if we want to live our best lives. Buenas noches mi gente! Till next time, Xoxo
I leave this as well for some thought... when you make a decision whether big or small, and you feel a weight lifted accompanied by a feeling of complete peace...that is the universe agreeing with your choice. Congratulations, you have successfully listened to your instincts :)
Fact: Strangely, I LOVE the beach but I'm terrified of deep water!
The thing is, I know exactly the habits that make me unhappy and/or cause a setback whether major or minor- That's the most frustrating part -_-
It's so much easier to sleep in, eat anything-any time, not exercise, not plan, not save money, stay in your most comfortable state. That's the thing about comfort, nothing great comes from it!
I can say that on the frequent occasion that I have skipped the gym or quit posting on my Youtube channel...it didn't make me feel good. I didn't appreciate the extra hours to do nothing and watch TV instead of recording and editing. I didn't savor the food I ate the next day when I missed a work out. I was upset at myself and disappointed that I put my future "better" self on the backburner all because of MY laziness :(
Now that's not to say you shouldn't make time for mindless netflix binging...because you should.
All I know is that every time I workout, I thank myself. When I stay on track towards my goals, I thank myself. When I spend money on my future career, business, or just self-help...I thank myself. It's not always all about the now, try building something that your future, "better" self will thank you for. I promise the more you do, the more you CAN do and will :) chau, chau, adios
You may or may not personally know me nor care much about what I write in here, but even so, thanks if you are reading. I'm flattered :) I consider myself someone who is easy to talk to or approach at the very least. Social media is a funny thing, so multi-faceted.
On the one side, you can connect with people around the world, keep up with friends, see the latest fashion/challenges trending, watch tutorials, etc. The other side of it is- people have become disconnected from themselves and their happiness, and their dreams, and those little things that make each of us unique. I am not talking physically, although the fillers have gotten very popular. I myself have lip fillers...but this is more about why people fall envious and anxious and unhappy with their own lives when we have the access and the tools to make our lives so imperfectly wonderful for us. A lot of us sulk and focus on what we don't have and what others do have. No one's life is perfect, that's not the goal I've set for myself. I strive to build a life that I and only I, can and will make for myself with all of the elements that bring ME happiness and peace.
I wanted an outlet to communicate and radiate that feeling of confidence and will power to people who may not be happy with themselves or their lives right now, and/or are scared of dreaming for things that seem too out of reach for them. Ultimately, I want to inspire something... that would be ideal. But also, get a couple of laughs, teach and learn a couple of things, and make something visually and substantially worth your while :) too-da-loo folks
I'll leave a quote that I have found to be true... "What you are looking for is not out there, it's in you."
That's how peaceful I aspire to retire someday...